My Loveletter to Needy Streamer Overload

When I first started playing Needy Streamer Overload (also known as Needy Girl Overload), I was having a mental health crisis. I have borderline personality disorder and it was kicking off badly. I still don't know why it happened.

This mental episode would completely change my life in ways hitherto unknown to me, but it would also give me an obsession with Kangel like no other.
This work will contain trigger warnings for mentions of eating disorders, murder, self harm, death, suicide, drugs and general bad mental health.

Ame-chan is.. Occasionally toxic.

"girls who are like "omg i just dont get fat i guess" ok… show us the back of your hand then." - Ame-chan texts during dusk/night.

She is severely mentally ill.

"look im getting death threats lmao people are posting "go die" at me, what if i really did? then what? maybe i could even hang myself on stream, all this for something that these terminally online pieces of shit will forget in three days, theyre the ones who should die or if they want me to die they should come and kill me themselves. put me out of my fucking misery please" - Ame-chan texts with high darkness & high followers.

But she also wants to do her best.

Kangel, also known as OMGkawaiiangel, is absolutely iconic and is beloved as a streamer in the game. I found out about this game via someone who was joking about "fixing her".

I picked it up, played the game and related to Ame-chan and Kangel. A lot. At first, this was just comforting, to see someone like me displayed so vividly on screen, but then it got worse. As I continued playing I realised there was no good ending for her. The only good ending in the game involves unplugging yourself from the internet (physically) or letting go completely.

As I continued to play the game, it got a lot less comforting and a lot more existential. I realised that I myself was going down the same path as her, and would probably end up in a similar situation. (Unfortunately, not famous, just mentally ill.)
This was a shock for me, and honestly made me seek help.

Kangel and Ame-chan are comfort characters for me as they went through a lot of things similar to me. However, she's a complex character who shouldn't just be idolised off the bat. Ame-chan is a rather realistic and raw depiction of what it's like to live with BPD and I couldn't be happier with this fact.

The first ending I got was Ground Control to Psychoelectric Angel, followed by Nymphomania. These endings hit particularly hard for me as I was struggling with sex/love obsessions at the time. Seeing Ame-chan lose herself to this was almost a wake up call to get help. Almost.

My episode continued for several more days.

Ame-chan and Kangel were massive comfort characters for me during and after my episode. She's a genuinely good person who has the capacity to say and do horrible things, much like anyone. The depth and complexity of Ame-chan's character is amazing, helped mostly by an author who struggles with the same things Ame-chan does.

"She is a strange girl who is very lonely and does not have a good personality, but the fact that she is more sensitive and honest than anyone else is her virtue."
- Nyalra on Ame-chan

My mental health episode was long, drawn out and awful. Needy streamer was a huge comfort during this time. I saw a girl struggling with the same things I was struggling with and it helped. People around me couldn't quite understand my fascination with the game.

I was doing badly.
I was grasping at straws trying to make things better by myself, any way I knew how. This felt pretty similar to Ame-chan's myriad of coping mechanisms– from drugs to self harm, she tries it all in order to stay afloat against the "mental darkness".

Ame-chan has a turbulent relationship with P-chan (who may or may not be real, but that's neither here nor there.) including constantly asking whether or not P-chan loves her, asking them to cut her and constantly messaging them, getting upset and eventually leaving if they don't reply.

Unstable relationships are a common symptom of BPD, something I don't experience as much as other BPD symptoms. I tend to feel more anxious that my relationships are unstable, rather than actually having unstable relationships.

Ame-chan also has potential autism as confirmed by Nyalra, which is very much shown in the game. She's an introvert who struggles with communication, loves specific things very deeply and very easily gets overwhelmed.

I see myself a lot in Ame-chan and Kangel. She's so relatable it hurts, but I don't enjoy the people who don't play the game and misconstrue what the game is actually about. Watching playthroughs is completely fine, especially if you struggle with management sims, but for gods sake please engage in the game a little bit if you enjoy Kangel.

It almost feels like she's been taken out of context and is now just a "mentally ill baddie" people use for rants on Tiktok.
People who aren't familiar with the game should absolutely play it. When people say games are art this is what they mean.

This game is art and I love it.